Since you asked. . .

When I was little, I played the piano. Not very well, mind you, but Maman patiently tolerated the noise while I made up little songs to amuse myself. 

As time went on, Maman insisted that if I wanted to continue she would find a music teacher for me.  “After all,” she explained, “a thing worth doing is worth doing well.”  

My Auntie Coco, an accomplished cellist, suggested her friend Earl for the position. Best known for his bland musical choices, Earl turned out to be patient more than anything else.

Admittedly, I was not the best student.

One day, as though it were cough medicine, I was determined not to take my lesson. First, I hid in the bushes when Earl came to the door.

Then, after Maman threatened to take away my bedtime story, I sauntered inside and did my best to behave.

Finally, as I tried to follow Earl’s ungainly paws on the keys, I decided it might help to sing along as he played. The lyrics were my own, however.

Tinkle, tinkle, I could go 

And the humans would not know

Right beside the kitchen door

Where their shoes sit on the floor

Tinkle, tinkle, this I know 

Now I really have to go

And I did. 

Unfortunately, that was the last we saw of Earl.

After all those lessons, I still can’t play but, to this day, I do enjoy the piano . . . in my own way.There you have it — the beginning of my interest in writing. (A reader did pose the question so, in a roundabout fashion or not, I felt you deserved an answer.)

Now, didn’t someone ask how I learned to make chocolate chip cookies?

. . . à bientôt, mes amis!

– Coco

You can tune a piano but you can’t tune a fish … or a cat

In 2009, the fine minds at the New York Times proclaimed that the #1 best idea of the year was — get this — the creation of species-specific music.

Really?

Given the magnitude of the global economic crisis at the time, not to mention that city’s claim to be the business centre of the world, you’d think that all those financial geniuses would have come up with something more impressive than a CD for cats.

Anyway, the concept piqued my interest so I decided to conduct my own test. 

Described as “sonic catnip”, the kitty ditties in question are supposed to excite the feline listener. Okay, so my sample group was small and didn’t include any New-York-City-livin’ highfalutin cat musicologists, but guess what? After subjecting them to this ridiculousness not once, but a multitude of times, Mac and the rest of the boys just laid there, as usual. A couple of them yawned. (Interestingly, a number of humans within earshot suddenly went a little mental though.)

So, despite what I surmise must have been years of scientific research, data collection and analysis, this just proves that no matter how much brain power and money you humans throw at a problem — although I’m not sure what the problem was in the first place — felines will simply continue to defy your will and comprehension. Just accept this fact and move on, people.

In the end, I can assure you that all that’s required to make us happy is loving attention, food, water, a warm place to sleep, and maybe a treat or two at Christmas time. 

And, honestly, isn’t that true of humans, too?

. . .à bientôt, mes amis!

– Coco