This headline caught my eye a few days ago:
Cat escapes from burning, collapsing Manitoba hotel
There she is, very calm and collected, calculating just the right moment and all the exact manoeuvres to escape safely.
Then I got this from a friend:
And yet, the cat versus dog debate rages on.
. . .à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
The other day, I went online and began searching for the latest pet trends. As official curator at Just Curious, I do that sometimes.
Anyway, the first interesting thing I found was a litter box disguised as a potted plant.
Useful, yes. Tidy, yes. But let’s face it — not all that pretty.
Then I discovered a pet tanning bed. Yes, really, that’s what this is.
Notice the makers could not entice even a single scatter-brained canine to pose in this melanoma factory. Enough said.
Then, THIS stopped me dead in my tracks . . .
Exactly what can you humans possibly be thinking?
For those who don’t recognize the profile, this is an anteater, supposedly the latest cool creature to acquire from the rainforests which, by the way, are systematically being turned into temporary parking lots for mega-trucks.
The fact that it can hang upside down from a shower rod while drinking from a beer bottle is, I’m sure, a party trick that would go down in the annals of frat house drunken bonanzas, but the anteater is, according to the Mother Nature Network, one of the “15 Cutest Animals That Could Kill You”.
In fact, this beast can disembowel a person with just one swipe of its well-honed claws. Charming.
Hmmm, maybe Mother Nature will get the last laugh after all.
People, please — tell your family and friends that, for more reasons than I have time to list here, anteaters in the home are just not a good idea.
. . . Well, unless you have a mean termite problem, in which case, meh.
A bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
A few friends who follow my blog religiously contacted me after last week’s instalment. Apparently, the photo of the dish-washing feline really stirred up some conversation in the cat community about our notorious penchant for washing things, particularly windows.
What’s with that, anyway? Why do so many of us enjoy washing windows? Although I cannot count myself among the apparent majority, many cats become obsessed with this activity.
Most take a relatively straightforward approach to the task. Here’s Gladys demonstrating nicely in this action shot:
And then there’s Mildred, who really does keep a spotless house.
Perhaps she’s a bit of a fanatic but we love her anyway.
In fact, she’s coming for a visit next week so I’m busy preparing for her arrival. As you can see by my expression here, I quite enjoyed this task.
After all, I wouldn’t want to be the hostess who allows her friend to get bored, especially while on vacation.
In fact, I asked my friend Murray to help me out but, well, that only lasted for so long.
I’m planning a few other little surprises for her as well. What about this?
Anyway, I’ll keep working at it.
. . .à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
Labour Day comes and goes, and all the cats I know are thinking the same thing. . .
. . . Are they gone yet?
We embark on a few meditative chores around the house.
And then, after an interminably long summer, we finally get in some R&R.
Don’t you just love September?
. . .à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
In 2009, the fine minds at the New York Times proclaimed that the #1 best idea of the year was — get this — the creation of species-specific music.
Really?
Given the magnitude of the global economic crisis at the time, not to mention that city’s claim to be the business centre of the world, you’d think that all those financial geniuses would have come up with something more impressive than a CD for cats.
Anyway, the concept piqued my interest so I decided to conduct my own test.
Described as “sonic catnip”, the kitty ditties in question are supposed to excite the feline listener. Okay, so my sample group was small and didn’t include any New-York-City-livin’ highfalutin cat musicologists, but guess what? After subjecting them to this ridiculousness not once, but a multitude of times, Mac and the rest of the boys just laid there, as usual. A couple of them yawned. (Interestingly, a number of humans within earshot suddenly went a little mental though.)
So, despite what I surmise must have been years of scientific research, data collection and analysis, this just proves that no matter how much brain power and money you humans throw at a problem — although I’m not sure what the problem was in the first place — felines will simply continue to defy your will and comprehension. Just accept this fact and move on, people.
In the end, I can assure you that all that’s required to make us happy is loving attention, food, water, a warm place to sleep, and maybe a treat or two at Christmas time.
And, honestly, isn’t that true of humans, too?
. . .à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
˄ ˄
Clowder full of grace
Patiently waiting for arms
To take them away
˃˃ ˠ ˂˂
In some way, perhaps you can support the Ottawa Humane Society’s Wiggle Waggle Walkathon and Run for the Animals on Sunday, September 7. In the meantime, meet Mouse the Cat:
Click my pic
Let’s all help to find Mouse a new home . . . spread the word!
Merci, mes amis.
– Coco
Humans are believed to be the only creature capable of laughter. But is that really true?
Scientists say that we felines lack the facial muscles that would enable us to laugh. Even so, there is much more to laughter than physiology.
By now you must realize that cats, like humans, possess a sense of humour. Whether we — or, for that matter, other animals — express it as humans do is debatable but there is evidence to support the idea.
One very special human was known for his unparalleled ability to make others laugh, including this gorilla, coincidentally named Koko:
(Isn’t it interesting to note the physical similarities between the cat shown above and the human featured here? When it comes right down to it, what is the difference between whiskers and a moustache anyway?)
Within moments of meeting, the hairy human and captive gorilla laughed heartily together. Their bond was immediate and powerful, much to the surprise of Koko’s caretakers.
Despite this human’s seemingly endless capacity for fun and his amazing ability to lift the spirits of others — even those of non-humans — he was irreparably sad inside. And although every person around him seemed to miss this fact, Koko did not. I believe she recognized his pain, utterly and completely.
He’s gone now. I don’t understand how it could happen but I do know this: He was one funny cat.
. . .au revoir, mon ami.
– Coco
My friend Desmond finds the summer heat particularly difficult to take.
The situation prompted me to enlighten you with a little science lesson. . .
Here is a disturbing fact: While human astronomers have yet to honour felines appropriately, they’ve not only named a star after the often obtuse canine, they’ve given them a constellation called Canis Major, or Greater Dog. I’ll come back to this in a minute.
With the rise in the east of Sirius — also known as the Dog Star — come the hottest days of the year, hence the origin of the phrase ‘dog days of summer’. (Hey, you can’t say you never learn anything by reading this blog.)
So, why no celestial love for their felines friends?
Given humans’ (supposed) adoration of cats, I decided to investigate this question. What I came up with is that perhaps we’ve not put in enough time — up there, I mean.
Turns out, the first cat which humans tried to blast into space ran away from the lab. Yup, Felix outsmarted all those dog-loving astrophysicists . . . take that, you lunar brainiacs!
Then, in 1963, the French government sent one of us on an actual mission. According to NASA’s website, “The cat, named Felicette, was successfully retrieved after a parachute descent, but a second feline flight ran into difficulties that prevented recovery.”
In case you missed it, that’s NASA-speak for “she bit it on the way home.” All the more reason that Felicette should have at least a star named after her, non?
I began thinking about all the dogs, monkeys, rodents and untold other species that have been fired into the stratosphere (which, by the way, makes sending family pets ‘to the farm’ sound positively benign).
Then I realized, ah-ha! The humans are consciously saving their beloved felines from certain death!
Until this point, I had actually been considering petitioning the Canadian Space Agency to grant us some time with that crazy singing spaceman, but now I think I’ll just send them a thank-you-for-not-caring card instead.
Word has it that the Iranian Space Agency is considering sending a cat up in its next bio-capsule, which begs the question, who knew there was an Iranian Space Agency?
So, Canis Major? The Greater Dog? Whatever. As the saying goes, cats rule, dogs drool.
Until next week. . . à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
Despite a brief respite in recent days, we are indeed in the dog days of summer. And unlike our canine friends, we felines generally do not have the option of cooling off in the pool.
Everyone knows that cats and water do not mix. Or, at least, that’s the common belief. But this is, in fact, not entirely true.
Some cats are bred for water activities. Nicknamed the ‘swimming cat’, this is a Turkish Van:
This is not:
Note the difference in demeanor.
This unhappy cat is actually receiving hydrotherapy. That’s right — he’s swimming to help repair a bum leg. I say give him a bowl of cream laced with whiskey and let him sleep it off. But that’s just me.
This cat is also in therapy, or will be very shortly, to address grossly evident psychological damage.
Clearly, some cats just don’t know when biting is in order.
Then there’s this cat. While boating on a warm summer’s day many years ago, my Auntie Coco snapped this shot of her friend Esther:
Although not a Turkish Van, Esther was nonetheless a born swimmer who, with unparalleled elegance, would dive off her human’s boat to catch a trout dinner for everyone. True story.
And what do dogs dive for? This. . .
Cats versus dogs? That humans still ponder this question is beyond me.
Then again, I am but a cat, sigh, a creature whose brain is more similar to a human’s than a dog’s is. Also true.
Until next week. . . à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
Top 10 reasons why humans should never, EVER give catnip to their felines:
10. First, we get the munchies in very un-pretty ways, and completely lose our ability to monitor consumption.
9. Then, as paranoia sets in, we start to worry about ‘the man’ listening in on our conversations.
8. We will invite friends over to redecorate. (And by the way, this place needs it — check out the gaudy toilet seat.)
7. After that, we will endeavour to demonstrate super-feline abilities and fail, mostly to the detriment of your breakables.
6. Then come the prank calls to 911. Police and ambulances arrive. You don’t want that.
5. We start hanging out on the corner with cats like Vinny who, by the way, knows everything about everyone.
4. We can suddenly, and without warning, become immobilized for extended periods of time. (Yoga devotees will recognize this particular position as ‘caturanga mededa yousada’, the feline response to ‘downward dog’.)
3. Sometimes this sudden-onset immobilization occurs less conspicuously, thus causing you to search frantically throughout the house and neighborhood; make and distribute depressing posters; then, finally, organize a search party (which, as I’ve learned, is not really a party at all).
2. Expensive physical therapy: Unlike the Mexican hat dance, the Japanese cat dance involves awkward moves resembling embarrassingly outdated soft shoe routines which can be damaging to feline musculature.
1. Finally, catmouflage can lead to disastrous results, especially if you tend not to notice subtle changes in your environment.
Believe me, you don’t want that on your conscience.
. . .à bientôt, mes amis!
– Coco
Cat Tales 