The farce awakens

My friends Luke and Leia are celebrating this week. Can you guess why?

That’s right — the latest iteration of Star Wars is almost here.

What can I say? They’re complete nerds. Or so I thought until I saw this example of dorkdom:

Then again, who’s to say this cat has not been forced into this preposterous outfit by its even more ridiculous human?

Oh, the things we do for food. I hope for his sake it was real tuna, not the fake stuff. 

Next week, my review of Birdman which, astonishingly, features no cats whatsoever, not even in minor roles. (Mon dieu, what was that director thinking?!?)

À bientôt mes amis!

– Coco

What’s on my Christmas wish list this year

As one who enjoys her creature comforts, I place a very high value on cat naps. And sleeping. And nap time.

And while I don’t often succumb to envy, when my distant cousin Ming sent me this picture of herself the other day, I admit that I felt a slight twinge of jealousy. . .

Hey, can you blame me? Look at this set-up! (And, really, does she not look a tad self-satisfied, even for a cat?)

Since I’m not high-maintenance like Ming — who has always been known as the gauche one in the family — I’m putting this little number on my list instead:

Cozy. Classic. Unpretentious. Yes, unlike Ming, I’m a simple cat with simple tastes.

I just wonder if the chair comes as a recliner. Or maybe with a hidden compartment for treats. Or a one-button Shiatsu massage option. Or heat. Or both. 

Hmmm, I may need to sleep on this for a little while. . . then find myself a bigger piece of paper.

À bientôt mes amis!

– Coco

Cats for World Peace

While at my yoga class the other day, I had a rather Zen moment.

It appears as though our Prime Minister didn’t make any new friends at the G20 last week, and who knows what the UN is doing these days. So, as I surveyed the meditation room, I thought, why not form a Cats for World Peace working group?

The members are as follows:

Snowball, who really knows how to pitch the big concepts.

 

 

 

Leo, a genial fellow, known for his consensus-building skills.

 

 

Annabelle, whose flexibility serves her well in tough negotiations.

 

 

 

Grace, who more than lives up to her name.

 

 

 

Peaches, who has a knack for calculating the best way out of a jam.

 

 

 

And finally, Zabar, who always brings a little bit of awesome to the table.

 

So now we have our own little G7, contemplating the path to world peace.  Hey, we — apolitical animals that we are — will surely do a better job than the humans who are currently working on it.

À bientôt mes amis!

– Coco

It’s getting to be that time of year again

Are you wondering what to give that special human for Christmas?  Look no further. 

For those of you who do not believe it is possible to gift wrap a cat, simply click on this photo to watch a short holiday film that is both educational and entertaining. (Feel free to skip the commercial.)

À bientôt, mes amis!

– Coco

Cat Owners’ Manual, Chapter One

How to Catch a Cat 

1. Place an empty box on the floor.

2. Wait.

Next week, train your cat to come to you using only your psychic powers. . . 

. . .and a newspaper.

À bientôt, mes amis!

– Coco

Happy ‘Hug a Black Cat’ Day, everyone!

Did you know that black cats and kittens are less likely to find a new home than other felines?  It’s true — maybe one of those crazy old wives’ tales is to blame. 

Some humans even think we don’t photograph well, but I beg to differ.  Check out some of the beauties up for adoption right now at the Ottawa Human Society.  There’s little Luna. . .

And the very regal Jasper. . .Here’s darling Dexter, who would love to be your new bestie. . .

Then there’s Soda, who looks like she’s been through a lot so probably needs a little extra love. . .

And, until the end of the month, if you adopt any of these beaux chats noirs, OHS will send you and your new friend home with an awesome kitty starter kit packed with treats, toys and lots of other must-haves — what could be better than that? 

I’ll tell you what’s better — the love of a thankful, adoring, purring cat, that’s what. 

. . .à bientôt, mes amis, et merci beaucoup!

– Coco

Oh, Canada

Firm in the belief that a picture is worth a thousand words. . .

I am faithfully yours,

Coco, a proudly Canadian cat

Oh, glorious October

Ever since I was little, I’ve loved the fall. 

One day, Maman snapped this photo of me as I ventured out, urging me not to stray too far in such weather. 

Then, as now, I think, What would the world be without October, when every leaf becomes a flower? 

None of my friends were anywhere to be seen that morning but I was content to be alone with the perfume of autumn leaves in the air.  As a like-minded human once wrote, “I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.”

Yes, there is certainly something to be said for carving out one’s own path in life.

Seems kitties today are interested only in the velvet cushion version of life.  I was convinced of this until yesterday morning, when I caught sight of little Bella next door.

October has cast its spell once again. . . enjoy the splendour, everyone!

. . .à bientôt, mes amis.

– Coco

Since you asked. . .

When I was little, I played the piano. Not very well, mind you, but Maman patiently tolerated the noise while I made up little songs to amuse myself. 

As time went on, Maman insisted that if I wanted to continue she would find a music teacher for me.  “After all,” she explained, “a thing worth doing is worth doing well.”  

My Auntie Coco, an accomplished cellist, suggested her friend Earl for the position. Best known for his bland musical choices, Earl turned out to be patient more than anything else.

Admittedly, I was not the best student.

One day, as though it were cough medicine, I was determined not to take my lesson. First, I hid in the bushes when Earl came to the door.

Then, after Maman threatened to take away my bedtime story, I sauntered inside and did my best to behave.

Finally, as I tried to follow Earl’s ungainly paws on the keys, I decided it might help to sing along as he played. The lyrics were my own, however.

Tinkle, tinkle, I could go 

And the humans would not know

Right beside the kitchen door

Where their shoes sit on the floor

Tinkle, tinkle, this I know 

Now I really have to go

And I did. 

Unfortunately, that was the last we saw of Earl.

After all those lessons, I still can’t play but, to this day, I do enjoy the piano . . . in my own way.There you have it — the beginning of my interest in writing. (A reader did pose the question so, in a roundabout fashion or not, I felt you deserved an answer.)

Now, didn’t someone ask how I learned to make chocolate chip cookies?

. . . à bientôt, mes amis!

– Coco

Ode to a dear friend depart’d

Was a life ever made sweeter from having known such a friend? 

It could not have been. 

Was there ever kinder eyes, a gentler face, a truer heart? 

There could not have been. 

Was that you I heard running t’ward me just then? 

It could not have been. 

Oh, but if ’twere,

I would ne’er be sad,

Ne’er have fear,

Ne’er be lost again;

I would be home once more.

– Anonymous, 17th c. song

. . .au revoir, mon ami.

– Coco